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The Kosher Top 10
Top 10 Ways You Know You Are From Northeast Philadelphia
by
Frannie S., Rebecca G., and Chavi B.
10. You get annoyed when people do the "Fresh Prince of Bel-air" rap because the northeast is 40 whole minutes away from west Philly.
9. You think it is normal for a boy to say he goes to Stern.
8. If you are a girl--you must make sure to bring a male escort to Holy Land Pizza to protect you from the creepy Mexican guys.
7. You live on a block with 100 kids and there are only 10 houses on your block.
6. You have your Melave Malka at Krispy Kreme or Rita's Wooder Ice, depending on the season.
5. Oh, and yes, you pronounce it "wooder".
4. Your freshly baked bread is really a day old from Brooklyn.
3. You can't remember the last time TA had a boys class that made a minyan.
2. Your shul choices involve all house shuls and one barn.
1. You are taking bets on who the 2004 senior kallah will be.
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From Yoni Greenberg
- You Rarely miss a Roosevelt mall sunday flea market.
- Blockbuster is a distant second to the phar-mor movie section.
- Your mother, father and grandmother all went to northeast highschool...
and you still live around the corner.
- The Dragon Inn is number 1 on your speed dial.
- You or at least someone you know has gone to school with a kaganoff,
mandelbaum, or vogel... or all three.
- Though you may not speak Russian, you certainly understand it.
From Noach Bernstein
- You consider Clover the mall.
- You envy Overbrook Park.
- If you were a girl you had a crush on Yossi Alakayim.
- If you were a guy you had a crush on one of the Fialkof girls.
- You trained all year for the Torah Academy vs. Hebrew Academy bball game (and if you were playing for T.A. you suffered an identity crisis).
- You wore one of those Eagles 'Starter' jackets that were really cool in 1993.....only you had them last winter.
- You lived next door to your Rebbe from school.
- You've actually been to Pennypack Park.
From Wrthrobc@aol.com
Lower Merion people think they're so trendy now by buying big SUV's. while your family preceded them with by having a Chevy Suburban since 1974 (the same one).
From Ezra Fass
- During the summers, you worked in Kol-Simcha day-camp as a counselor for kids who were 5 months younger than you.
- If you went to Hebrew Academy, then the only time you interacted with Lower Merion kids was during NCSY Shabbatons in Baltimore.
- Although you're 25 years old, you are still scared of all the 10 year old non-jewish kids who live on your block.
- You believe that sweatpants are appropriate for almost any occasion.
From Shais Galena
-Pitome Pizza is the benchmark for how all pizza should taste
-You attribute your low self-esteem to the fact that you grew up on a street called "Dorkis"
-Your usual Sunday afternoon includes spending 2 hours watching the Fudge Factory make fudge at the Franklin Mills Mall. If not that, you are shopping for dream cars at the Roosevelt Blvd Auto
Mall.
-Walk into any shul, if there isn't a guy with gold necklace and a Phillies hat, you're not in NE.
-Walk into any shul, if there isn't an Israeli wearing a purple yamaka talking to a Russian about PepBoys and car transmission, you are out of town.
-By default, you speak Russian.
-Elkin's Park is for snobs, Yardley is for wasps, Winfield is where you send your sons to yeshiva, Lower Merion is for modernish people who sold their souls to the devil, Ardmore is where you send your daughters to highschool, Overbrook Park is good, but too close to Lower Merion.
-Every street direction you ever gave includes the following: Rawhn Rawhnhurst Roosevelt Blvd. Cottman and Roosevelt Blvd (again).
-You end every sentence with a preposition... "Where Sports Authorty at?"
- Your vacations include Sesame Place, Dutch Wonderland, Hershey Park, and a trip to flatbush
- When you say you went to Central, you don't mean the frum girls school in NYC.
- The Cheltanham Bus is always ten minutes late arriving at TA. This is a known fact. The driver always hollers "Cheltanham!" but does he fail to realize it is printed on the side of his bus?
From Yisroel Galena
- You despise Lower Merion kids, primarily cause they have a backyard
- The Pizza place has changed owners and names 5 times, yet there is always some girl wearing an "I Love Rick Tochet" neclace behind the desk
- You may not be frum, but you certainly know Rabbi Lezarovski lived in the house of the Chofetz Chaim.
- Your entire social life was spent on the 45 minute coed bus ride to TA. Which you said you hated, but in your heart you couldn't live without.
- You worship Rabbi Powers, and are pretty sure that most of those exagerated Artscroll Tzaddik stories are about him
- You can do a perfect Rabbi Brisman impersonation
- You go to Queens and feel like home, just with more restaraunts
- You know the center of worldwide Lubavich is nowhere near Crown Heights
- Your older siblings all went to BJ, and always point out some dirty ivy covered wall as the "old Beth Jacob" building
- You know Rabbi Herschel Schacter's Bais Yaacov Joke about BJ
- You know what daf is written on Rabbi Young's tombstone
- You love Weiss's Bakery
- The Greatest Day of your Life: Your Bar Mitzvah Pic at Fleets in the Jewish Exponent
- You get teary eyed anytime an Allen L. Rothenberg commercial comes on
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