10. He has a double given first name (could be Bobbie Joe or
Menachem Mendel?)
9. He wears a wide brim fedora hat
8. He smokes cigarettes (ala Marlborough Man or Motzey Shabbat)
7. He is politically conservative (ie Rush Limbaugh or Meir Kahane).
6. He wears a large belts that has special significance to him (the gartel
vs. the Name Buckle)
5. His goal is to be married with kids by eighteen
4. He loves going to Friday night gatherings with his friends (Rebbe's
Tish or Tractor Pull?)
3. He believes that his hero never really died (Elvis vs. the Lubavitcher
Rebbe, ZT"L).
2. He drives around town in a beat-up old Pontiac whose main color is
primer and rust.
And the Number One Ambiguity Between Frumsters and Rednecks:
1. You don't know exactly what language it is that he is speaking, but it
sure doesn't sound like English...
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From Yael
Too much inbreeding.
From: Michael Singer
The Top Signs Y'might be a Redneck Rabbi...if...
...Th' only time y'shave is for Purim...
...Y'use catfish oil fer Hanukka...
...At Yeshiva, y'had th' only pickup truck...
...Yer succah's real hard to tell from yer house...
...Y'know th' brocha fer beer a little TOO well...
...Y'carry a Bowie knife in case of a unexpected bris...
...Y'shecht yer own venison ... more than once a year...
...Eruv? Yer lucky if y'can patch th' ROOF in time fer Shabbos!...
...Y'daven sorta chasidische style ... 'cause, slower just comes more
natual...
...Y'wear yer tzitzis "in," 'cause they was gettin' tangled in yer fishin'
tackle...
...Towards th' end a' Pesach, y'get to wonderin' about th' insulation
R-value of matza...
...Th' refrigerator on th' back porch is th' fleishig one. Front porch?
Milchig...
...When y'argue with a goy about religion, y'each pronounce "God" with 'bout
three syllables...
...Y'been asked to rent out th' mikvah to th' local Baptists, and y'refused,
but woooEEE, is it cold!...
...Between th' outhouse and th' house, y'have "Asher Yotzar" split up on
signs like th' old Burma Shave ones. Y'all young bochers won't know what
that means...
...Y'don't need to ask yer Rabbi or yer mechanic what any of these here
mean...and besides, they's the same fella...which makes askin' shailas reeel
convenient...
And, th' Number One sign ya...just might be a Redneck Rabbi:
...Y'store yer lulav in yer gun rack!
From: Heather Price:
Nice one, Heyden--- How about..
----The women are always pregnant, and the men are always really happy. ---- Ad D'Lo Yada.... need we say more?
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