“Grace is false, and beauty vain; a woman who fears Hashem, she should be praised” (Mishley 31:30)

The Megila teaches that Ester “was finely featured and beautiful of appearance” (2:7). In fact, the entire story about how she attained royalty is based on her beauty—she would never have been brought to the palace if it weren’t for her good looks. Sadly, an unattractive Jewish woman could never have served as the heroine for her people. Nor is this the only instance where the Tanach stresses a woman’s beauty. Of our matriarchs, Sarah was good looking (Breysheet 12:14), Rivka was good looking (24:16), and Rachel was good looking (29:17). Why does the Tanach highlight the beauty of these righteous women, when physical appearance is supposedly false and vain?

I think the answer can be found in a passage in the Talmud that appears to send a similarly shallow message. At the end of Masechta Taanit, we learn about what used to happen in Jerusalem on Tu B’Av. The unmarried maidens would dance in the vineyards and the bachelors would go and chose their brides. The attractive women would say, “Look for beauty, because the most important feature of a woman is her beauty.” The women with distinctive ancestry would say, “Look for good family.” The rich women would say, “Look for wealth.” And the unattractive women would say “Chose for the sake of Heaven, and adorn us with jewelry [so that we will then look attractive].”

On the surface, this passage is promulgating the concept that physical appearance and material wealth are primary to proper character. But of course, this message would be incorrect. My suggestion is that this passage is instead highlighting the wrong approaches taken by some women. The women who bragged about their good looks, ancestry and wealth are obviously acting inappropriately. The other women, who focused on their personalities, were also acting inappropriately—if their personality traits were used solely to attract a husband. We see this behavior all this time on the Upper West Side, which is as similar as possible to the way Jerusalem used to be on Tu B’Av. People act righteous as a way of looking attractive, but deep down their concerns are for themselves, and not for others in the community. Hence, I interpret this passage as demonstrating the incorrect attitudes to choosing a spouse.

This interpretation is supported by a previous passage on the same daf that teaches that the women of Jerusalem would all go out wearing borrowed dresses, so as not to embarrass the girls who did not own nice dresses. If this was indeed the custom, then it is unlikely that these same kind-hearted women would then brag about superficial things at the expense of others. It thus seems clear that the Talmud values a caring personality above all else, and discourages emphasizing material matters.

From here, we can also learn why so many women in Tanach, with legacies of being kind-hearted and God-fearing, were described as being very attractive. The fact that they were good looking demonstrates that there was no ulterior motive for them to have such good personalities. If they wanted to achieve anything, all they needed to do was flash a wink and a smile or brag about their prominent backgrounds. The fact that they were beautiful shows that their righteousness was pure, and that they were truly worthy of being role models to the generations after them. On Purim, while we are busy confusing the concepts of “cursed is Haman” and “blessed is Mordechai”, let us not be confused that focusing on another’s physical appearance is the evil behavior of our enemies, and not befitting the followers of the Torah.

Readers Comments:

From RiverdaleG
Listen up girls: Looks ? what looks? looks don't pay the rent. Mr handsome could turn into elmer Fudd, atleast be left with something.