1. The Harvard School of Medicine did a
study of why Jewish women like Chinese
food so much. The study revealed that this
is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled
backward is Not Now!

2. There is a big controversy on the Jewish
view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition,
the fetus is not considered viable until it
graduates from medical school.

3. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

4. Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-
American-Princess fantasy  horror movie?
A: It's called “Debbie Does Dishes.”

5. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great
parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

6. Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's
favorite position?
A: Facing Neiman Marcus.

7. Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide
money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

8. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it
take to change a light bulb?
A: None! (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the
dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to
anybody.

9. Short summary of every Jewish holiday:
They tried to kill us, we  won, let's eat.

10. Q: What's the difference between
a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

15. Jewish telegram: “Begin worrying —
details to in a letter.”

16. Q: Why are Jewish Men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women aren't attracted
to anything that isn't 20% off