Top Ten Changes if the Pilgrims were Jewish:
10. Indians' “How” greeting would have been answered with “I've been on a vashtinkina boat for 2 months, How do you think?”
9. The Mayflower Compact would have been brokered by Goldman Sachs and would have included Mexico and Canada
8. Breakaway minyans immediately open in Rhode Island and New Hampshire
7. Holiday of Succot would be renamed Teepees
6. Thanksgiving dinner was suppose to be veal, but there were Turkey shabbos leftovers.
5. Plymouth Rock suddenly claimed as the Muslims third holiest site
4. Thanksgiving Dinner was arranged by the Ladies Auxiliary and is still looking for a sponsor
3. Jewish geography would be used as the great ice-breaker, “Which Pocahantas? From Queens?”
2. Rubashkins' immediately hires all Indians
1. Pilgrims become automatic Members of the Tribe