10. Hot kiddush means we have hot water and styrofoam cups
 9. Crown on top of Torah looks a heck of a lot like a cardboard Burger King crown
 8. Instead of hiring Janitorial staff, Rabbi halachically sells garbage
 7. Yarzheit lights designed to flash new Corporate Sponsor's Logo
 6. You spot your Rabbi playing Santa at the mall (thank you Nathan Englander!)
 5. Benches are wooden, worn down and have golden name plates from 1972 (never mind, that's what it's like in an economic boom too)
 4. Tzedaka Box filled with IOU's
 3. Your rebbetzin is on “Antique Road show” trying to pawn off the ark curtain as “Sacred Hebrew Velvet Tapestry”
 2. Bar Mitzvah Candy bags are just empty bags
 1. The “Ner Tamid” isn't exactly tamid after 5pm