10. You check to see the names together sound good
9. Both require the most intensive background check ever
8. Hoping both will fulfill all Vice services
7. One is a strange bedfellow, one is just a bedfellow
6. In back of mind, you know they may replace you someday
5. You spend hours on the phone whispering to them
4. At some point in the relationship, you will consider killing them
3. They know how to fill your cabinet
2. You will hold hands. A lot.
1. You envision building a (white) house together