Welcome back! I am sure you got interrogated by many of your family, friends, and random people at the shul kiddush while home for thanksgiving weekend. Below is a dictionary of common lame questions you may have been asked while being home, and their actual meanings. Hometown adults are tricky! So the next time you go home you will know exactly what the line of questioning is getting at.
10. “How is YU going?” = How is whatever college you are in, if you still are in college?
9. “Thinking about going to graduate school?” = Did you get into Wharton like my son? Did you score higher than him? Tell me your scores now! Who wrote your references?
8. “Any new kosher restaurants in the city?” = Do you still keep kosher?
7. “Do you like what you are doing for a living?” = Do you even have a legit job? I hope so, since I know you didn't become a doctor/lawyer and you aren't married.
6. “Your mother tells me you are dating someone?” = Your mom tells me everything about you, but mainly about how she wishes she can have grandchildren. Please marry this guy so she can stop calling me.
5. “Rent must be expensive in NY?” = Are you making alot of money? Are you makiing more than me?!
4. “How are your roommates doing?” = Is the lazy one still on drugs? Does your roommate's girlfriend stay over? Any of them get married?
3. “Where do you daven on the west side?” = Do you still keep shabbos?
2. “What's the typical night in NY like?” = are you going on shidduch dates /have a chavrusa or are you getting drunk, eating treif and dating a shiksa?
1. “When are you going back to NY?” = I have nothing else to ask you, see you on Pesach!