For those for who every day is Simchas Torah, or for any bum on a budget, the quick and economical way to get juiced is with bum wine.  These cheap bevs have a high alcohol content averaging 15-20% alcohol  and typically include added sweeteners, artificial flavors and colorings.  There are several producers out there, however, for the strictly kosher wino there really isn't much choice.  MD 20/20 (a.k.a. Mad Dog 20/20)   made by Mogen David wineries in Westfield, New York will have to be your poison.   Thankfully though you can  get it in a variety of flavors including “Key Lime Pie” flavor  , “Buck Bunny/Twisted Licorice” (Jagermeister) flavor ,  and “Blue Raspberry” flavor (certainly the only vintage in the world that carries the “BLING BLING” appellation).   

No longer the sole domain of discerning bums the world over, this  “wine” has been appropriated as the liquor of choice by teens looking for a strong, cheap high.  As it's nickname connotes, Mad Dog 20/20 delivers a powerful jolt, combining  a one-two punch of alcohol intoxication, along with a sugar rush.

This may not be the kind of MD your Jewish mother wanted you to get, but it's a bargain that will make her proud: Comparisons done by Bumwines.com determined that although other wines have higher alcohol concentrations, MD boasts the winner of the “Least Worst Taste” among all wines tested.  I haven't tried the plonk myself, but  I imagine  one would note a fruity bouquet with hints of actual wine, a balanced palate of sugar and  window-cleaning fluid, and a strong Bling Bling finish.  Not table wines, bum wines generally  are not considered suitable for any purpose other than getting wasted.   However, Mad Dog could still be the perfect wine for your table–  if your table consists of  an upside down milk crate in the corner of a cardboard box.