10.  There is an 91% chance that you have no clue where you will be eating, partying, davening or sleeping

9.   You continuously run into your still-single camp counselor/NCSY advisor at the alcohol table and start feeling guilty

8.   After so many parties, unless it is on the 2nd floor, you’re taking the "elevator via shinui"

7.   You see one familiar face in the crowd and you spend the rest of yomtov trying to place his face only to realize you went on a date with him 4 years ago and he dropped 40 pounds

6.   Greatest simchas torah of your life, despite the fact that you never saw any actual torahs

5.   You consider being social, going to the scene and speaking to no one other than your roommates and ex's

4.   After a while, seeing your “too-frum-for-thou” friend from Israel suddenly making out with some dude in a leather trenchcoat  and goatee isn’t all that shocking

3.  You got one of the first Aliyahs by lying and saying you are a Cohain

2.  You get a light from an ex boyfriend’s friend whose friend’s friend supposedly got a light from a yarzheit candle

1.  If you complain all Simchas Torah to your platonic-friend that you can’t meet anyone, face facts: you are in love with your platonic friend