10. They’re buying food during the game but they’re right in their seats for the halftime show.
9. The family starts screaming at the vender selling Hebrew National Hot Dogs for false advertising.
8. They’re sitting in the front row, VIP seats, but they’re still watching the monitors anyway.
7. The parents are telling their hyperactive ten year old boy not to pick a fight with the drunk thug in the row behind them who’s cheering for the other team yet has a KKK hood in his backpack.
6. Zadie is talking very loudly about how the only thing those black people were good at was sports.
5. They’re on the phone with Bubbie trying to politely reassure her that her granddaughter will not run off with one of those strapping yet very non Jewish linemen after the game.
4. The father of the family is trying to entice the mascot to be the entertainment at the shul’s fundraising event next week which he happens to be the chair for.
3. The Yeshivish member of the family calls his rebbe to help him fight the yetzei hara when he sees the cheerleaders do their very sexy cheers.
2. A little boy with really long hair and a kippah runs down the bleachers and on to the court/field with a screaming older sister behind.
1. Everyone in the family still they thinks that they are in better shape than the MVP of the game even if they haven’t worked out in 25 years.