It's simple. If you are attending the 3-day conference this week in Washington, DC, just load your kiddush club flask up with some Israeli vodka and take a subtle sip anytime …

You see an Israeli/American lapel pin – take a shot 

Someone wearing Israeli/American flag kippa (split half down the middle) – take a shot 

Someone starts an argument with “Historically speaking, the Palestinians never… – take a shot 

Someone tells you how important boycotting the New York Times is – take a shot 

Someone asks a 2 part question with a followup question during a panel session – take a shot 

Someone asks a question to the panel that has no question and is just a 4 minute rant/comment – take a shot 

Some guy is on cellphone shmoozing/hocking in the hallway about his ride home – take a shot

2 state solution mentioned followed by a muuuhahahaha laugh – take 2 shots 

People looking for where J-Street is in Washington – take a shot

Thought AIPAC is the most important acronym in the world – take a shot

Cellphone goes off during keynote speech as soon as that person sits back down – take a shot 

Given sense that Iran will be bombing the building any minute now – take a shot 

Durbin Part III joke made – take a shot

Realize the bars in DC close at midnight – take a shot

Introduce yourself to a Congressman by saying you loved the series West Wing – take a shot

Someone tries to pick you up by asking you how many conferences you've been at – take a shot 

1967 borders mentioned as a joke – take a shot 

Free food! – take a shot! 

Someone wearing a very obvious ugly blue and white tie that is trying way too hard – take a shot 

Asked to sign up for an email list that has the word Kahane in it – take a shot 

Contemplating making Aliya tomorrow – take a shot