“Before He Cheats”…..Seder Sidekick version:

Right now he's probably saying Kiddush with a bleach white kittel,
and the seder attendee's probably getting hungry…
right now, he's probably pouring some fruity 2nd drink cause you can't shoot whiskey…(not kosher for passover)

Right now, he's probably up breaking matzah with a blessing, showing how to hide the afikoooo men…

And he don't know…(where it went)

That I dipped my parsley into the side of his pretty little saltwater of the tears we cried,
leaned my back into his leather seats…
I took a Artscroll Haggadah and recited on the yomtov lights,
Filled a hole in all 4 cups of wine…

Maybe next time he'll think before he leans.

Right now, he's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Ma Nishtana..
Right now, he's probably saying “I'm drunk”
and he's a thinking that he's gonna have to read Maggid,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 10 drops worth of that red wine pinot
And he don't know…

That I dipped my parsley into the side of his pretty little saltwater of the tears we cried,
leaned my back into his leather seats…
I took a Artscroll Haggadah and recited on the yomtov lights,
Filled a hole in all 4 cups of wine…

Maybe next time he'll think before he leans.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next seder,
Cause the next time that he leans…

Oh, you know it won't be on marror!