bangitout fake news

ALBANY, N.Y. – Former Governor Eliot Spitzer, who was caught this month arranging high-priced prostitutes in Washington DC, say this dark episode in his life will be driving motivation behind his newest political aspiration: to become VICE president of the United States. "I now have an unparrralleld level of experience in this area of politics" boasts Mr. Spitzer, who asked reporters to refer to him only as John. "I can assure any presidential candidate that I can live up to everything which the title Vice president entails." Spitzer says that the key to being a good VP is knowing how exactly the system operates. "I know how to get things done in Washington, who exacly to call or text and how much things really cost." The former hard-nosed prosecutor, NY Govenor and Client#9 hopes to create a bi-partisian task force loaded with experienced political A-Listers such as Senator Larry Craig and Representative Barney Frank to enhance the reach and role of the office. Spitzer also named former President Bill Clinton, millionaire Charlie Kushner and Actor Hugh Grant to be top advisers on all night-to-night activities, reviewing the different "hot spots" around the country with a focus on 42nd Street, Chinatown massage parlours, D.C. hotels and the entire city of Las Vegas.

"The role of Vice president is an important one, it carries a lot of responsibility, it affects millions of people across the country, virtually every member of congress, most people in Hollywood and now many within the church. As you all know, I have first hand experience in one area of vice. With time, I hope to master gambling, smoking, overeating, drinking and facebooking – with that – I can become the leader who knows the full vice landscape, who knows how to get to the smokey backrooms and get things done there!"