> ELUL RECALL NOTICE
>
> Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings"
> are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a
> malfunction in the original prototype units code named
> "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same
> defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically
> termed, "Serious Internal Non-morality, " but more commonly
> known as "SIN."
>
> Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:
> [a] Loss of direction
> [b] Lack of peace and joy
> [c] Depression
> [d] Foul vocal emissions
> [e] Selfishness
> [f] Ingratitude
> [g] Fearfulness
> [h] Rebellion
> [I] Jealousy
>
> The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service
> free of charge to correct the SIN defect.
>
> The Repair Technician, Hashem, has most generously offered
> to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
> To repeat, there is no fee required.
>
> The number to call in for repair in all areas is: PRAYER.
>
> Once connected, please upload the burden of SIN through the
> REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from
> the Repair Technician, Hashem, into the heart component of
> the human unit.. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is,
> Hashem will replace it with:
>
> [a] Love
> [b] Joy
> [c] Peace
> [d] Kindness
> [e] Goodness
> [f] Faithfulness
> [g] Gentleness
> [h] Patience
> [I] Self-control
>
> Please see the operating manual, TORAH, for further details
> on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer
> has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct
> monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance
> Technician, Hashem. Repaired units need only make Him welcome
> and He will take up residence on the premises.
>
> WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without
> corrections voids the Manufacturer' s warranty, exposes the unit
> to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately
> result in the human unit being incinerated.
>
> Thank you for your immediate attention.
>
> Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice.
> ——————
> Author Unknown