If Computers Were Jewish

2. Hanukkah screen savers would have "Flying Dreidles".

3. Your PC would shut down automatically at sundown on Friday   evenings.

4. CD-ROM's would be rendered obsolete with the invention of high compression DVB's (digital video bagels).

5. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting  any younger!" button.

6.. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!".

7. During Passover, your PC would not be able to read "leavened floppies".

8."Microsoft Word" would be renamed to "Microsoft Kibbitz".

9. Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, and a little byte  of that".

10. When running "scandisk", you would be prompted with a "You vant  I should fix this?" message.

11. When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud "Oye!!!".

12. A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it gets rid of the "schmutz" on your monitor.

13. After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Schluffy"

14. Computer viruses would now be cured with chicken soup.

15. Solitaire would be replaced with on-line "Mah-Jong."

16. Internet Explorer would now have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.

17. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.

18. You would hear the tune "Hava Nagila" during startup.

19. "Year 2000" issues would be replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.