Jews around the world all agree to the following fact:  every good holiday requires a stream of bizarre customs, symbols and traditions to make the task of overeating a spiritual endeavor.

With that we give you the tips to Jewify your July 4th BBQ:

10.   Begin BBQ  with proclamation:  “We were once slaves to the British Empire, but now we are free men”

9.    Question if obligation of July 4th is just mentioning “Stars” or if you are also obligated to mention “Stripes”?

8.    Fireworks should not be lit until after skiyah

7.    American Beer is required, and one should be careful not to drink a Canadian beer, as you may come to praise the British Empire

5.   Deep discussion held if you should lean for Sauerkraut

4.   Most Jewish Americans sing only the first paragraph of the Star-Spangled Banner,  but the Ultra-Orthodox should sing all 4 paragraphs of song, and Chasidim usually add the additional Civil War stanza from R’ Oliver Wendell Holmes Z”L

3.   Rabbi should illuminate why the sequence is  “Red, White and Blue”  and not ” White, Blue and Red”

2.   $1 bills are given to charity to remember George Washington.  Those who give $100 dollar bills with Benjamin Franklin face are considered  praiseworthy

1.    Forefathers should be referred to as “The Avos”


Don’t miss the Bangitout NYC TUBAV PARTY here  July 26th NYC