TEACHER: Why are you late?

  WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

  TEACHER: What sign

  WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."



 TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"

  JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

  TEACHER: No, that's wrong

  JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!



  TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

  SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!

  TEACHER: What are you talking about?

  SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!



  TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America .

  GEORGE: Here it is!

  TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

  CLASS: George!



  TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have

  today that we didn't have ten years ago.




  TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

  TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.



  TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."

  ELLEN: I is…

  TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, "I am."

  ELLEN: All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."



  TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down

  his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing

  it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

  JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."



 TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me, do you say  prayers before eating?

   SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.