When thinking of the age old question, which is better, Shabbos Dinner Vs. Shabbos Lunch, I realized that this comparison is not apples to apples. It's more like Adams to Eves. You see I am under the sincere misguided impression that Shabbos dinner was invented by the valiant efforts of our Jewish Matriachs and shabbos lunch was invented by their lazy husbands.

Shabbos Lunch is manly. So manly, I feel like the traditional menu could be from Hooters. Shabbos dinner on the other hand has a womanly feel to it. Shabbos dinner is like the epic romance film, Titanic, Shabbos lunch is a rom-com flick written by Judd Apatow starring Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen, both hungover. It is the Zachor (male) to dinner's Shomor (negia). These meals are so different they go together like meat and milk. Such rivals, they are on the level of  North vs. South, Hillary Vs. Obama, Abbai Vs. Rava, peanut butter vs jelly. This debate goes up against Taste Great Vs. Less Filling, Roe Vs. Wade, and the spelling of Chanukah vs. Hanukah. Here are some proofs to my pudding (noodle pudding):

Ambiance:
Friday Night: The candles are lit, as I serenade you with eshes chayil and pour you a glass of wine. Sounds like a Danielle Steele romance novel waiting to happen.
Shabbos Lunch: The smells of mustard/coleslaw and the overall presentation of slimy cold cuts/cholent leaves me thinking lunch was created by hungover Jewish men who were too tired to give a shit. 

Prep:
Friday Night: Everyone is showered, decked out in newly dry cleaned clothes, crisp white shirts, drenched in perfume/cologne, heels and globs of makeup.
Shabbos Lunch: No shower, rewearing clothing from the night before (stains included), no makeup, toothpaste or straighted hair

Courses:
Friday Night: With each course the guests 'ooooo' as each is revealed coming down the runway: Warm challah ooooo, Soup oooooo, dessert oooooo Bravo! Encore! Is this a fashion show?
Shabbos Lunch: Stop drop and eat. You get to the table, it's all there, and the cholent pot looks pissed for making him wait all morning. Let's get this over with and goto sleep on the couch.

Silverware:
Friday Night: Honey, can you bring out the china and silverware and glasses and platters and oh don't forget the napkin rings. and the cloth napkins.

Shabbos Lunch: China?! SCrew that, we're using plastic, I'm not doin dishes again bitch!

The Songs:
Friday Night: Zmiros include: Eshes Chayil, Lcha Dodi L'cras Kallah, Menucha V'simcha (miami boys is very girly) all very gay/romantic
Shabbos Lunch: Slav, V'Dagim, Basar and Yayin  (lets eat and party and passout)

Kiddush 
Friday Night: Red or White? Merlot or Moscato Dasti? Or if all else fails: on your warm home-made challah
Shabbos Lunch: Let's do shots!

Conversation about the food:
Friday Dinner: Acknowledgement of “how good the food is” “How did you make this?” is required to the chef
Shabbos Lunch: “Is your secret ingredient beer?” “Are these cold cuts old? they look old.”

Post Meal Effect:
Friday Dinner: Women have to recap the meal for 2 hours
Shabbos Lunch: Men retreat into their cave during the meal and hope they wake up for mincha.

But in the end, these titan meals aren't so much rivals as they are compliments. Peanut butter without jelly tastes dry. Sweet without the sour removes the tang. Shabbos dinner and shabbos lunch need each other like man and woman, like night and day, to feel complete. Or to at least to feel completely full.