An excerpt from the book, Put It In Your Act!

  My next bit involves two celebrities in a fictitious situation.  Let’s imagine, if you will, that Menachem Begin, the sixth Prime Minister of Israel visited Julia Child’s “French Chef” cooking show.  She would be facing the camera in front of her well stocked kitchen.  She’d introduce Menachem and he would shuffle in and mutter something under his breath that sounded like a cross between a hello and a cough.

   She would then ask Menachem if he likes bacon.  He would explain he never had it since it’s not kosher, but has been told it tasted like fried pastrami and resembles something he once sampled at a UJA benefit breakfast in Brooklyn called Sizzlean.  After a bit of coaxing from Julia he would agree to try it and the studio audience would break out in applause (all three of them). 

   Julia wouldn’t simply fry the bacon as that would be too pedestrian.  She would use an old family French technique to roast the bacon at a low temperature in an oven, slowly until it develops a rich complex and smoky taste and crispy texture.  She would then beckon, “Oh Menachem” in her thick French accent.  “Oh Menachem,  Men-ach- chem!!!. 

   He’d mutter, “vut?” 

   She would then look directly into the camera and at Menachem slightly crossing her eyes and say, “Are you begging to begin baking bacon Begin?”

   Just when my crowd was recovering from their laughter, I would hit them with this doozie: