10.) Players will lock arms (but otherwise remain at a safe distance)…in the mikvah.

9.) Owners will wear the kittel they got married in, even though it is now 4 sizes too small.

8.) A turducken will be used for kaparos.

7.) Will take a knee during Aleinu (but on a paper towel)

6.) Changing name of final prayer from Neilah to Hail Mary

5.) Kol Nidre Appeal cards will be rolled up and used to inhale lines of snuff.

4.) Viduy confessions to be replaced by repeating refrain of “Look What You Made Me Do.”

3.) Players will break their fasts on bagels and lox. (They refused to change anything about that).

2.) At end of services, Gatorade poured on chazan

1.) All players tie their non-leather shoes….Laces out!!