Taken from The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah: (Christian satire for the rest of us.)

Friends, every year when December rolls around, my fellow evangelicals dust off the Christian Noise Machine and work themselves up into a lather anytime somebody wishes them a Happy Holiday Season instead of a Merry Christmas. Now, as Christian Hissy Fits go, the War on Christmas is like money in the bank. It comes pre-packaged and ready- made, with no assembly required, so to speak. And year in, year out, it never fails to get the same old blowhards back in front of the TV cameras. Only problem is, while they're busy freshening up the perma-tan under the studio lights, nobody's paying attention to the real threat: the War on Chanukah.

That's right, friends. The War on Chanukah. Because what started out a generation ago with a seemingly harmless change in spelling from the virile, Hebraic “Chanukah” to the wimpy, secular “Hanukkah”, has now gathered into an all-out assault on the Festival of Lights. According to this article, it seems the city of Fort Collins, CO has actually banned the Chanukah menorah, apart from a ceremonial first-night lighting, from the city's public “holiday” display altogether. A “holiday” display, I might add, that features a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, and the elves. Hmmm, I wonder what “holiday” that could be?

Now some of you might be thinking, Score one for the visiting team, right? Wrong. Because in case there's any doubt as to which holiday JC observed , let me help you out: try finding a Christmas tree in the Promised Land. Birthday or not, come December, JC was busy playing dreidel and eating potato latkes like any other self-respecting Heeb.

Of course, there is one bright side to the story. Apparently, after its one-night stand on city property at a local shopping mall, the menorah will be moved for the last seven nights to the kind of place the JC would feel right at home in: a nearby privately-owned bar.

The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah