Resume of George W. Bush

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the

influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's

license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and

is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a

drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas

Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in

Midland, Texas, in 1975.

I bought an oil company, but! couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company

went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers

baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including

Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making

Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston

replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in

borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American

history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's

appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over

500,000 votes.

ACCOMP! LISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal

record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one

billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any

12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.

stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost

their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any

administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,

has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I se! t the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S and world record-holder for receiving the most

corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,

Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.

History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to

assure my success with the US. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation

or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica

Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest

corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to

intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices! in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded

government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President

in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the

history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove

the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees

and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election

inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President

since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst

security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center

attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in

the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously

protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for

protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,

pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.

I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.

citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health c! are benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty

benefits for active duty troops and their families — in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking

Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)

view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to

justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's

library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt

companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended

regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for

public review.