Who is behind Pharoah's Evil Empire?
Darth Seder
Where do Seder-lovers Vacation?
Cape Kadesh
What is another name for the meal during the seder?
Lean Cuisine
What part of Passover do pirates love most?
The sed-aarrrrrrrr.
What was the name of the Secret Spy for the Jews in
Bondage, James Bondage
What flowers are best for the seder?
U'rchids
Why did the matza baker rob the bank?
He needed the dough.
How many Policemen does it take to make an arrest at a Seder?
4 Cops
What was the name of the Smart Alec Son in the seder?
The Wise-Ask Son
What was the name of the Smart Alec Son in the seder?
The Wise-Ask Son
What fish should you serve at the seder?
Codesh & Carpas
What Soup do Baseball Pitchers eat at the seder?
Lotza Balls Soup
why did the Hagaddah get pulled over?
His seder plate expired
What is Moses's favorite Breakfast cereal?
Honey Bunches of CharOATses
Where did Dorothy and Toto get their sunburn?
From the Wicked Sun
Why did the Mortgage Crisis start on Passover?
Too much leaning
What is the best way to cook a steak on Passover?
Extra Lean
What is the name of the Seder Saltwater's Favorite Constellation?
The Big Dipper
Who is the Celebrity Queen of the Seder?
MatZsah Zsah Gabor
What is hail?
Hard-boiled rain
Why was King Tutankhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of
Because he always showed up in cuneiform.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a seder plate?
A tyrannosaucer.
What did one seder plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me.
What does a proud computer call The Wise son?
A microchip off the old block.
Why couldn't the woman afford to buy shmura mazta?
She couldn't raise enough dough.
Why wouldn't Moses let anyone use his staff?
He couldn't part with it.
Why did the Jews learn to spell well after receiving the 10 commandments?
They must follow the letter of the law.
Why did the Egyptians get rid of all their clocks and watches?
They were full of ticks.
Where did the Jews eat lunch after receiving the 10 Commandments?
At the Golden calf-eteria.
Why did the chassid eat his Karpas under the sink?
He found a leek there.
What kind of floor did Egyptians' bathrooms have?
Rep-tiles.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog — it croaks every night.
What did you call the Farms of Egypt post pestilence?
Decalfinated.
Older Brother: “Hooray! Hashem has freed us from
Younger Brother: “So what? I'm four!”
Why did the apple in the charoses cry?
Its peelings were hurt.
What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a Egyptian car?
A windshield viper.
What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?
Fuel injected kapras.
How do you know how many cows died in
Use a cowculator.
Why is everyone afraid of the number seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?
Where
What did
His cell phone.
What do hard-working Karpas Sellers hope to get every year?
A celery increase.
Did you hear about the gefilte fish that went deaf?
He had to buy a herring-aid.
A Hillel sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.”
What did the
Nothing. It just waved.
Can I ask you 4 questions?
Ok, what's the second one?
Do you like Boils?
No? Don't worry. They'll grow on you.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.
How do vermin travel?
By itch-hiking.
Where do haggadahs eat dinner?
At the table of contents
What were Cleopatra's dying words?
Asp not what your country can do for you; asp what you can do for your country.
Why was the plague of blood unsuccessful?
Because it was all in vein.