It's that time again. The Ultimate Jewish day of celebration on the completion of reading the Torah! A day of alcohol, old and older friends, high expectations that will never be met, and the day you'll begin your drinking career – Simchas Torah – You need to come to the Upper West Side. Truly a moving (you walk a lot) experience!
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Please follow these simple drinking rules and you should find yourself having the best simchas torah of your life: (if you can remember it) Party Hard! – bangitout.com
If you see someone you went to Camp with, drink 1 shot
If you see someone you dated, take 2 shots
If you see someone you went to college with, but can't remember their names, 3 shots
If you have a conversation without staring at others walking by, 3 shots
If someone puts their kid on your shoulders 3 shots
Anytime you hear the song 'Hoshea Es Aecha' 1 shot
If you see a Torah brought outdoors 2 shots
If you eat on real china and non plastic, 4 shots
If you are sleeping on someone you don't knows floor, 3 shots
If you have a 10 minute conversation with someone you dont know their name 4 shots
If you see a Torah danced into the streets 3 shots
If you see someone from your hometown, younger & drunk 1 shot per year younger than u
If you see your camp counselor hitting on someone your age 2 shots
If you hear purim torah, 2 shots
If you see your “Frum” friend not wearing a yarmulke 3 shots
If you meet someone from Brooklyn 1 shot
If that person from Brooklyn is not smoking, 3 shots
Ifyou make out with that person from Brooklyn, 5 shots
If you enter a party that has no alcohol left – 4 shots
Any time someone says “Ad Cahn” 1 shot per which Hakafa it is
If you see someone being michalel yuntiv 2 shots
If you see your ex wife 5 shots
If you see Michael Jackson, Shmuley Boteach or any other celeb 5 shots
If you start singing Purim tunes, sober up
If you see someone smoking from a yarzehit candle 2 shots
If you see someone and you think I'm pretty sure that person was married 3 shots
If you see a mob of chabadniks 1 shot per beard
If you see someone smoking weed in public 2 shots, 1 hit of weed
Moscato D'Asti being drunk from the bottle, like soda 1 chug
If you hear the tune 'Ki Mitzion Tezei Torah' take 2 shots
If you make up a career everytime you meet someone 2 shots
If you see a candied apple, 2 shots
If you see vommit at any time over the holiday, 4 shots
If someone pokes you in the eye with a flag, 4 shots
If you are faced with a stuffed toilet, 2 shots
If the second you enter a party you immediately think you need to leave, 2 shots
If someone asks you if you got an aliyah yet? 2 shots
If you run into the same person over and over and over, shot per run in.
If you lie and say you are a cohain to get an earlier aliyah, 2 shots
If you can't find your friends, and have no idea of the address where you are going, 3 shots
If someone asks you where the Carlebach shul is, 1 shot
If you can lain your own aliyah, 3 shots
If you meet your bashert – send bangitout.com a bottle
If you can't read this top ten, and your lips are numb, sober up