10. You get there at borchu, and there's still no minyan.
9. Guy sitting next to you passes out from heat exhaustion (in Spring and early Fall)
8. Three hour speech praising the donation of a siddur to the Minyan
7. It's standing room only (even though the first three rows are empty)
6. Wondering why they need 2 Gabies if the same 2 people daven every week.
5. You would give half your kingdom to have a beverage at kiddush which doesn't come from fermented grapes
4. You are trying to follow laining while simultaneously balancing 15 siddurs on your lap
3. You assume that there will be a short 3-on-3 basketball game after services
2. You are upset that all the hot girls are in the beginners Minyan next door
1. Sermon focuses on the most important issue currently facing our people: Bangitout.com.