1. You waited for the Director to put his hashgacha on Stir Crazy and Ojai Ice Cream just so you could go to them during your off time
2. It is the only camp without a lake, but you didn’t care
3. You are jealous of the campers and counselors in the brand new Gesher bunks
4. If you are from somewhere outside of Los Angeles, you get made fun of. Out-of-state or out-of-country, you are made fun of for 4 straight weeks.
5. You decided to leave camp after Shacharit and go 100 miles each way to Los Angeles just to pick up Pico Kosher Deli for lunch.
6. Tuesday means crap for breakfast and lunch, but barbeque for dinner, Wednesday means cardboard pizza, Thursday means chocolate croissants, Shabbos means chocolate muffins, deviledeggs, taco salad, and deadly vegetarian chulent
7. You put the yellow salad dressing on absolutely everything, regardless of how disgusting the final product might be
8. You wake up early daven on your own because of the damn liberal “west coast conservative” people.
9. There is always an epidemic of something
10. Ditching kitot is the law of the land
11. If you are in Abirim, you feel inferior to Nitzanim because you are NOT A REAL EDAH!
12. Maccabiah is always the hottest and nastiest-weathered day of the session and Visitor’s Day is a close second
13. Where else could you have Winter Camp?
14. You aren’t scared of the guy who owns a shotgun to shoot bears and a hoe to kill snakes but you are scared of the guy with the blue SUV (please don’t kill me…)
15. You get so much exercise climbing up and down The Hill dozens of times each day.
16. The Nutritionist is actually an evil person who came up with less nutritious and more “yummy” (read: fatty and carb-filled) foods.
17. You can’t tell the Hispanic Catholics from the Israelis in the kitchen, as neither wear kippot.
18. Four words: Far West Shabbos Mincha
19. The last Friday afternoon of each session you fear for your lives as Machon comes back from Tza’adah and gives out Mud-
Hugs.
20. Everyone puts peanut butter in their ice cream at Shalosh Seudos.
21. “No smoking, absolutely no smoking, positively no smoking,shavuah tov!”
22. The only people in the entire camp with Ruach are in Machon. No one else cares!
23. Actively protesting the camp bureaucracy is the only way to get things done
24. Being a member of the Break-Fast Club is a thing to be proud of
25. People recognize Mador as being not a paying job, but as slave labor
26. “What are those things? Fleas?”
27. You will kill anyone for starting “We’ve got Ruach, Yes we do!” but “Yibaneh HaMikdash”, “There once was a wizard” and “Hipza Zooza” are perfectly acceptable
28. You have participated in a doubles tennis tournament to win the Kiddish Cup, which if you win, you get a green luggage tagthat wins you a soda from Coach
29. Where the winning team on Maccabiah is not Kachol, Lavan, Adom, or Yarok; it’s Team Day Off!
30. You don’t trust that eruv. OR: Wait, we can’t hike any further this way or we will have left the eruv. Why are we hiking
on Shabbos, anyway?
31. The hand movements for birkat hamazon.
32. Getting in trouble for sneezing “zechut!” during Birkat Hamazon
33. “Zeh Lo Mekubal! Ain “Whoop-dee-doo” b’birkat hamazon!”
34. Former Gesher counselors with their weak attempts to include Gesher in Rad Hayom (Taps will never be the same…)
35. Getting caught in the middle of the night in one of the Amphitheatre changing rooms
36. “The man in the moon is my friend. The man in the moon is my friend. I don’t know why! I don’t know why” and the rest gets
garbled. My favorite is “He must go to Camp Ramah in Ojai”
37. Even though we go there all the time, the location is as mysterious as Area 51.
38. Guessing the theme of the Az Ich Vil Zingen at Shabbos Dinner or the Yismechu at Shabbos lunch
39. All of our Edah songs have dirty hand movements and sound effects, particularly the “Unh!” of Abirim, Giborei Yisrael,
40. No matter how many years ago it was, if you were in Nitzanim, David Ross told you the Sharman story and you had
nightmares that night.
41. Bunk bonding activity: urinating on the burned-out car near on the lonely bench hike above the Gesher bunks
42. Everyone wished they were on Zach Israel’s Yarok team for Maccabiah because he is the coolest person EVER!
43. “We love Shmaltz points!” as the number one song at camp, according to Coach
44. Smashing a hard-boiled egg over someone’s face or putting numerous packets of salt into one’s food when they weren’t looking
led to swift and painful retaliation
45. The two easiest places to fall asleep are on the staff lounge couches or during Rabbi Dan’s Friday night Tish (it’s not
that they were boring, it’s just that we’re tired on Friday nights from not being off all day Friday)
46. handshakes, high fives, and even hugs are ALWAYS followed up by the Soul Punch (for the uninitiated, when two people’s clenched right fists come into contact with each other)
47. Without anyone even asking, you know what meals to get 30 slices of bread and peanut butter and jelly (hint, hint, potato and
cheese quiche)
48. The older the edah you work with, the closer you get to real t’filot, but you are never yotzei anything.
49. If you have a staff brat in your bunk or tent, you can bet they will go to their parent’s room any damn time they please, most
likely during times when you are counting them.
50. Camp Ramah in California: the JAPiest Place on Earth