Top Nine Things NOT to do on your First Day of Work

9) put post-its up all around your work area that say ?get more post-its.?

 8) Put hemorrhoid cream with your name prominently displayed on it in the company cafeteria refrigerator.

7) Shoot spit-balls into the adjacent cubicle while yelling: ?heads!? or ?incoming!?.

6) Send out an email to the entire staff saying how much you are looking forward to have everyone work for you.

5) Offer your boss ?fool proof? tips on how to cheat on his taxes.

4) Leave early ? explaining that you really have to get to your other job. Come late the next day ? explaining that things were really hectic at your other office.

 3) Steal a framed picture of the president's wife/family from his desk and display it prominently on your own desk.

2) try to pick up the receptionist using lines like: "How can I direct YOUR call."

1) belch.