10. Occasionally, you say/hear "how's by you" instead of "how are you." No one bats an eyelash.

9. Actual sign at the coffee stand by the infamous Park and Ride ( the one near Pathmark) "We have now iced coffee." Right, instead of the grammatically correct "we now have." Somehow no one notices.

8. Fistfights break out over which pizza shop is better, Shelly's, Jerusalem, Tov, that new one by College Rd. ( yes its owned by Shelley's pizza and no, I don't know why they havent merged into one yet) etc. The Chasidish one and the ice-cream one don't count, sorry.

7. In the end you just go to Teaneck to have pizza.

6. Even if you are not of that age, you know where the current teen hangout is on Saturday nights- the
parking lot of Tov pizza. This is since last summer when Chai banned takeout on motzai shabbos. Stay
tuned, I'll keep you updated, this hangout subject to change at any time.

5. Gang wars break out over which bagel shop is better, Sammy's, Bubba's, Eli's.

4. Gun battles break out over parking spaces at the Palisades mall.

3. At Said mall, teen Chasidim are constantly seen trying to make themselves incognito as they sneak into movies to catch a little sneak peek. People-if you are going to do that, at least sneak into an "R" rated one. But Disney movies- come on!

2. Yes we really have kosher sandwiches in our 7-11, come to think of it, they probably are as gross as the non-kosher ones, but still.

1. Speaking of 7-11, the only porn magazines they have is Monsey porn – uncovered elbows and knees.

0. You go to (choose one of the following names, Blueberry Hill minyan, Congregation Ohaiv Yisroel,
Rabbi Cohen's shul) and davening actually emerges amongst all the talking.

-1. If you are a guy, that Vishnitz 11 am Sunday morning shacharis is calling your name.

-2. After you get married and put in your time in Victoria Gardens you save your money, get a little
snooty and move to New Hempstead( poor man's West Hempstead) or Forsche. Or, even better, Five Towns.

-3. Even the goyish busdrivers know hilchos mechitza, tznius, tefila, of course where "Yeshiva" is and to
drive home even crazier on Friday afternoons.

-4. They also know how to take the loooongest routes home. Is that what "as the crow flies" refers to?

-5. Pre- shabbos siren is the loudest. Ever.Take that, Flatbush and Borough Park.

-6. Actual triple head coverings and bullet proof stockings for sale (available at Stocking Exchange).

-7. When a couple who don't yet have jobs gets engaged one of the first questions asked them is "nu,
are you going on food stamps?"

-8. You put significant weight into the rumor that a Chasid owns the lot that the local strip joint is on.
And oh, yea, a Satmer girl is a waitress there.

-9. People in the crowded, ever-popular, your favorite and mine, Monsey Housewears pretend not to understand English so they don't have to move when you say "excuse me."

-10. Everything and anything sold out of a basement. I think the IRS should be told about this.

-11. You can always tell when there is a wedding at the Atrium, no, not by all the cars parked there, rather, the guests are dressed up just a little bit more than they would if they were just shopping in the Atrium plaza.