15. If you run out of olive oil, you can always use the next best thing: turkey gravy
14. Af Hain Oso Bnais….Yehudis and Pocohantas
13. Elephants stomped on Fratboys, Lions stomp on Cowboys
12. Cranberry Jelly makes a nice garnish on latkes
11. You can spin the dreidel to determine who will do the Thanksgiving dishes
10. Common Chanukah response of "Thanksf'giving me this cheap watch"
9. New England Indian Reservation Casino starts "$5 Driedel Table"
8. Both holidays celebrate triumphs over religious persecution with overly fattening foods
7 They have Macy's Parade, we have Macy's credit card bills
6 Plymouth Rock: Pilgrims made it out of clay
5 John Madden loves latkas
4 Krispy Kreme launches turkey-flavored sufganiyot
3 The Thanksgiving celebration also lasts for 8 days….in your stomach
2 Heck, the Pilgrims wore black hats
1 They smoked their peace pipe, we smoke our majuwanika!