Top Ten Signs You are Assimilating during the Holiday Season

10. You find yourself singing Shir Hamalos to the tune of Jingle Bells.

9. "Havdala on egg nog?' is a completely valid halachic question

8. Your kids ask the shul's fat yeshivish candyman for a brand new bike

7. Office christmas tree has at least one or two of your Succah decorations hanging on it

6. You call kugel, "Holiday Soufflé" and rugalach "Fruit Cake"

5. Mistletoe posted next to your Mezuzah

4. You call getting a date at Stern College, "Miracle on 34th St".

3. "B'nai Matisyahu HaKO-HO-HO-Hain"

2. You check the back of Artscroll siddur to see if you say tachnun on New Years

1. You pay retail